


Shatter That Perfect Mirror Image

by RiddlePanda



Series: Mirrored Surfaces [2]
Category: South Park
Genre: M/M, Mirror Universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-18 02:50:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13672719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RiddlePanda/pseuds/RiddlePanda
Summary: There were three constants in the universes that described the entity more commonly known as Craig Tucker.1. A blue object covering their hair was a must.2. They would always ALWAYS be connected to the entity commonly known as Tweek Tweak.3. They would always have some pet named Stripe. They would be fiercely protective of said animal.





	Shatter That Perfect Mirror Image

There were three constants in the universes that described the entity more commonly known as Craig Tucker.

1\. A blue object covering their hair was a must. Be it the normal blue chullo, beanie, helmet, scarf, etc. It must be blue and hair must be covered.

2\. They would always **_ALWAYS_** be connected to the entity commonly known as Tweek Tweak. Lovers, enemies, siblings, etc. There would always be a connection.

3\. They would always have some pet named Stripe. Always. Even if said pet didn’t even have a stripe. The animal would be named Stripe. And they would be fiercely protective of said animal.

—————————

Clyde was grating on his nerves. Like super big time grating. It had started the moment him and Tweek got back from the “Good Universe” and the brunette had slapped him hard on the back.

“Heh. You two missed school for two days! Thought your stupid broken snake finally ate you!”

Grating. Craig’s eye twitched.

Everyone knew in the “Evil Universe” that animals were evil and wanted to kill, the only exceptions were those damn Woodland Critters that Cartman had dreamed up that became real and kept praising the Word of God. Any animal that didn’t want to kill was deemed stupid and broken.

Stripe didn’t want to kill, especially the humans she loved, especially Craig, and she was definitely **_NOT_** stupid **_OR_** broken. Stripe was Stripe. All ten feet of the sweet adorable boa constrictor Craig had fallen in love with while him and Tweek were in Mexico dealing with Snake God shit. Who Craig would spend days knitting said snake a sweater that covered her to keep her warm in the harsh Colorado climate. And no one, **_NO ONE_** talked bad about his baby.

———————–

“I’m _**JUST**_ saying that anacondas, boas, pythons, they _**ALL**_ restrict blood flow to slow the heart down. Then they swallow their prey whole. She does that to you, so why Stripe isn’t-”

Smartass fucking Clyde Donovan always trying to show off his fucking smartass brain. Fucking Valedictorian in the making with all the smart schools offering him stupid smart scholarships for his smartass smartness. Sure Craig and Clyde were best friends but Clyde really really really shouldn’t talk bad about Stripe.

“I mean bringing her back here was “good” on your part, but if she was still in the wild, she would certainly be kill-”

Craig flipped him off.

The lunchroom grew silent as Clyde stared at the offensive gesture that his best friend was delivering.

Craig saw Clyde’s eyes widening. “Wh-What the hell Craig!? What the hell man!? You…You **_NEVER_** flip anyone off! Dude! That’s…”

It was also common knowledge that “Evil Universe” Craig Tucker didn’t do one thing that all the other Craigs did. He never flipped anyone off. It was rude. It was a huge insult. Craig could call you any name in the book, but the one thing he absolutely refused to do was to flip someone off.

Craig smiled. Truly smiled. And laughed. He held up the second hand with the same gesture. Clyde looked ready to piss himself. Good. The smartass deserved it. 

The energy, the excitement, that Craig was feeling was something that he had only felt a few times in his life. He put his hands down and leaned closer to the brunette.

“Clyde, you’re my best friend but there’s something you need to fucking shut up about right now. All the jabs, all the comments, don’t mean shit to me. Talk bad about my precious Stripe again and I’ll fucking stab you. In fact, _**YOU**_ keep fucking saying that Stripe’s broken, right? That she doesn’t kill me or Tweek? Well…you’ve only been around her when we’re around.”

He leaned in closer. “Who’s to say we’re not holding her back from killing every single one of you?”

Craig stood up, buzzing with energy, as the entire table, the entire lunchroom stared at him with wide eyes.

“In fact! There’s something else I need to tell all of you!”

Craig climbed up on the table, pulling Tweek up with him, the blonde spilling his Thermos of tea.

“Fuck all of you that think just because our good counterparts are together, that we can’t be! I fucking love Tweek Tweak and I always have and always will! So fuck all of you for breaking us apart! We’re together and _**NOTHING**_ will break us apart again!”

He spun around, flipping the entire room off before turning to Tweek and pulled him into a tight embrace, crushing their lips together.

Craig hopped off the table and ran out of the lunchroom, dragging Tweek with him.

——————————–

“Ugh….how does he even _**DO**_ this all the time? My voice is gonna be scratchy for a few days.”

Tweek chuckled as he shook his head. “Well, you’re the one that cared that we missed two days of school. Craig and I could have gone back when he got better from his stomach bug from all those damn tacos he ate. I don’t give a shit. The school doesn’t really either.”

Craig shrugged. “It was worth it to get Clyde off of badmouthing Stripe. _**MY**_ Clyde knows not to even speak negatively about any guinea pigs, not just mine and Tweek’s. And uh…sorry about the kiss. I guess I got carried away.”

“Don’t be sorry about that. It was fine. Really in character for me and my Craig actually.”

“You’re not mad?”

“Nah. And I know my Craig won’t be mad and your Tweek shouldn’t be mad. I mean…it’s technically _**NOT**_ cheating?”

Craig chuckled. “Well, knowing my Tweek, your Craig’s getting completely pampered by him. Fluffed up pillows, cool washcloth on the forehead, Tweek’s amazing chicken and rice soup. I hope there’s some left.”

“I hope Craig gets the recipe from him. That sounds amazing right about now.”

“Well…you **_DID_** just say you didn’t care about the rest of the school day. We could go back to my universe and get some of that amazing soup. We ran out before eating.”

Tweek scoffed. “Correction. _**YOU**_ dragged me out. And spilled my tea. You owe me.”

“I just defended Craig’s baby, scared Clyde and the rest of the school shitless, and I’m willing to skip school. What more do you want?”

Tweek looked over to Craig and smirked. “Well…there was something you mentioned to me earlier today about your Tweek. I wanna pay a visit to the coffee shop when we get back to your world. I want to see if I can’t convince “dad” to start paying “me” what I should be making. Back me up.”

“No killing. Tweek actually _**LIKES**_ his piece of shit parents for some reason.”

“Fine. Can I at least scare the shit out of them?”

“As long as you don’t get Tweek sent anywhere, fine.”

**Author's Note:**

> Scream at me riddlepanda.tumblr.com


End file.
